Did you know life doesn’t have a pause button?
So with that being said, my sincerest apologies that I have been gone.
Life doesn’t have a pause button. Even when you may need it most. Deadlines are still there, chores are still there, there isn’t a fairy godmother around to pick up on any responsibilities.
I had a family member pass away last week. It wasn’t expected like it was with my mother. When she got her diagnosis along with the increase in hospital visits, we knew we had to prepare ourselves. I mean with each hospital visit the looks from the doctors increased as if to say “Start your goodbyes soon”. So we did. We sat by her bed, her doctors giving us space, we cried, we laughed, we made sure she knew we would be okay. When she passed away we felt relief. We knew she could breathe again. We knew she was no longer in pain. We knew the suffering was finally over.
This time though was different. Yes, he was sick. Yes, he had cancer. And yes, he was making strides. But, who do I blame? Who do I get angry at? Because he was taken too soon. Too soon. There was hope that the cancer would get beaten again.
So life. Life is rough. There’s no pause button. I still have to keep all of my commitments. I still have to show up. I still need to be present. Others depend on you and it’s tough. And when someone passes away it brings up older emotions that all of a sudden feel fresh again. You’re heart breaks even harder but you still have to show up.
Without a pause button how do you heal? How do you continue? How do you grieve?